Apples to Oranges: The Thief of Joy

Sisters in Christ Saturday

Ladies, we ALL do it. Comparing ourselves to others is a practice that has unfortunately permeated our minds since we were little girls. It has become second nature to us, because of the constant barrage of media images we see. And let's not forget about the impact social media has on us in this area. Even long before our modern times, women have been comparing themselves to other women. Brunettes want to be blonde. Shorter girls want to be taller, and tall women want to be shorter. We all want to be thinner, more successful, happier, and prettier.  I could go on-and-on, listing all the things by which we measure our "value."

"I wish I were as ________ as she is."

"She is such a much better __________ than I am."

"I'm not good enough at ____________________."

"Why can't I have ______________ like she does."

Personally, I have struggled with this in every area. When I was a young, married mom, I envied all the other girls my age who had the freedom to go out and do whatever they wanted. Now that my kids are all but grown, I long for the days when they were little again, and of course I see other moms of young children and think, "I wish I had been that good of a mom." It's the same with physical appearance, success, intelligence, relationships, and every other aspect of life that you can imagine.

WHY DO WE DO THIS???? It is insane. Why can't we just be who we are and be okay with it?

I guess God brought this to the forefront of my mind when our worship team met this week. Now, I love to sing. I physically NEED to sing. But, I LOATHE hearing the sound of my own voice. I feel so inadequate, because my voice doesn't sound like these other women on our team. At the same time, I know for a fact that these other women - these amazingly talented, beautiful friends of mine - struggle with the exact same thoughts! How in the world could either of them, or anyone, feel that way about MY singing or, for that matter, anything else about me? We had some great, eye-opening discussions this morning on this topic, and confirmed that this is something with which we all struggle. We compare ourselves with each other and our own selves even. Think about that hard enough, it will make your head spin.

Thankfully, this morning also, my loving Heavenly Father popped me on top of the head like a Whac-a-Mole with this revelation:  "You're not SUPPOSED to sound like anyone else." He hand-crafted the sound of my voice, along with every single other little thing about me. All of those things about ourselves that we complain about, because they are not exactly like so-and-so's, are things that God specifically chose for us to have! How incredibly boring would life be if everyone were exactly the same! If there were no variety in the sound of voices, music would be extremely bland, and lacking the richness that is created when they all blend together!

The old cliché is true: You can't compare APPLES to ORANGES. They are not supposed to be the same. They have different flavors. They have different PURPOSES. Yet, they are BOTH important.

When we allow comparison in our lives, it results in self-doubt, envy, and bitterness. Rather than building each other up and appreciating one another for our diverse gifts and characteristics, we allow that ugly little green monster to rear its head. As my sweet friend just said to me, "I let it hold me back." Woah. WE LET IT HOLD US BACK. What a tragedy!

Theodore Roosevelt said, "Comparison is the thief of joy," and how true that is! Instead of celebrating and sharing the gifts that we were specifically given, we wallow in the lies of the enemy, which is exactly what his goal is. When we are lost in those lies, we cannot see ourselves as God sees us, and we cannot accomplish what He wants us to!

How do we combat that? We fill our hearts and minds with God's Truths about who we are in Him. We are wonderfully and fearfully made. We are His children. He has plans for us. He loves us. We are WORTHY!

We are EXACTLY who HE made us to be! Trust His wisdom in creating YOU. Even when you feel like you are not good enough, know that He already knew you would feel that way, but He still put you in the position you are in anyway, to use the gifts specific to you and His purpose for you.

We can admire each other, support one another, encourage and advise. Shoot, we can be honest with each other, and say things like, "Ooh, hang on Sista, you have something in your teeth." But let's not compare ourselves to each other. You weren't made to be me, nor I, you. Instead, let's celebrate all of our wonderful, crazy, beautiful differences and use them together for God's glory. 

"So since we find ourselves fashioned into all these excellently formed and marvelously functioning parts in Christ's body, let's just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren't." Romans 12:6 (MSG)

Love you all!
Kim